Monday, January 18, 2010

192

My neighbour is the bestfriend who ditched me for someone cooler, the girl who called me a bitch for reasons that I find unnecessary and the boy who brought me down to bring himself up. My neighbour is the backstabber, the liar, the cheater and person I refuse to make eye contact with in the halls. It's a little bit sad when my heart breaks for people I don't even know (not that it's a bad thing), but I secretly delight when someone who I see everday "gets what they deserve." I think it's harder to love someone who's hurt you rather than someone who's different. It's easy to shut people out, and I often forget love doesn't mean "I like you until you hurt me."
I have this really unhealthy way of disecting every failed relationship I've ever had. I run it over and over in my head, even years later, just to figure out went wrong. I fuss, and I stress. I scrutinize and I blame...
And I realize that I am an ugly person when I do this. I get riled up with loathing and obsess over the insignificant details. It's almost like I become this monster who's hunched up over a problem in the corner of the room, and by the time I look up, nobody cares anymore, because the problem's long gone. And I can't see for myself that wallowing in self pity doesn't solve problems.
In conclusion: Love your neighbour as yourself. Loving your neighbour is loving yourself.

Anyways, today was a good day. I could not ask for more amazing people in my life.
Props to Amy Ma who actually made me cry today. What. The. Frick.
<3

2 comments:

Christopher Tse said...

Amazing.

Amyyy :) said...

I second Christopher.
I liked this post even before I read the last 2 sentences :)