This might not quite count as a Happiness Meme, since it's not completely about happiness, but whatever.
Today, I went to two grads, (which was way too rushed and something I wouldn't recommend doing) and it made me so happy to see people that I love and care about walk across the stage... Except for Jancy... 'Cause I was late... But let's not get into that.
My school's grad has always been a little bit different. We don't get the cap and gown. Instead, everyone comes in dressed to kill. It makes things seem more like a celebration rather than a goodbye, but I got that panicky, I'm-about-to-cry feeling inside anyways. I know that I'm not going to see most of those people again, because nothing was holding us together except for the being in the same class, club or school. I hate that there's sometimes a huge difference between the people that you love spending time with and the people that you actually hang out with. There were a lot of people I needed to say goodbye to, but I didn't get the chance. On the other hand, there's a few people that I know I'm going to be seeing a lot, and it was exciting seeing them all dolled up today. Actually, it was just great to see everyone looking gorgeous and ecstatic to graduate. I kept on turning to Lindsay during the ceremony and making comments like, "I love her!" or "She's such a babe," or "I'm going to miss him so much," because it's so true. They're a group of good-looking, wonderful people, and I'm actually going to miss them so much.
Today, the last of this year's graduating ICONers walked across the stage, whether it was at Pacific Academy, New Westminster Secondary or Seaquam. They're done, and it's bittersweet. Every time the Grade 12s hit a milestone, it's always hard on the kids in my grade. It goes back to when I was in Junior Worship, and Genie, Tiff and Kathleen moved up to Children Worship, and after that, they moved up from Children Worship to the adult service, both times leaving me behind. I would always feel so deserted and try to move up with them. I always thought I was so cool, because I had an excuse to move up sooner, but when people didn't let me, it felt like I was being held back a grade. It only got harder as everyone moved up from JV to ICON, and Lee-Ann and I would always skip out on meetings to join them in the Annex. I'd like to think that for once, we're mature enough to let this one go and not force ourselves into 3D or something like that. When I was younger, it never occurred to me how ridiculous I was being to want to constantly be with my friends at all times. Nonetheless, it scares me a bit, because this milestone is a lot different from the rest. It's a bit selfish for me to be saying this, because I know things aren't changing for me as much as it is for them, but I know things are going to be so different next year. I'm scared that the days of big group hangouts and going to youth together are going to be over. I'm scared that the "If you go, I'll go"s will get the best of us. I'm scared we'll drift. But at the same time, I'm stoked to see what will happen with these kids. I've had the privilege of knowing them for my whole life, for 10 years, for 3 years, for a year or however long, and I've come to see that each one of them is amazing. I know that whatever happens, they will all do well and do good. I will always, no matter what, have their backs and continually pray for them.
Congrats guys! I can't believe it's me next.
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