466

Recent conversations with a friend has shown me how far I've come from the person I was. I'm not talking about the bratty kid who thought that shop-lifting was cool, but the person who thought that dealing with pain was doing it on your own.
I didn't realize how much I've seperated myself from who I was before, and I'm glad that getting over the pain of things wasn't as painful as going through the pain itself. And I'm not gonna lie, it was hell. I rarely admit to anyone that I have been through suffering, and it hurt beyond imagine.
But I look back at the me back then, angry, beaten and bruised, and I can't even relate to her.
Part of it is because I like to think that if I pretend something didn't happen, it doesn't become a part of me. But most of it is because God took the bitterness and spite in my life and used it for His glory. Somehow. I don't know how the frick anyone can do that, but He did.
I guess this is me coming to terms with my old self - my broken self, my hiding self. I left it behind a long time ago, but I won't forget it, because that would be forgetting that I'm walking, living and breathing God's grace.