Wednesday, December 08, 2010


Edline just slapped me across the face. I've actually never been more disappointed in myself, because I know that I can do so much better.
I know most people would be telling me to shut up and stop complaining about my mid-eighties average right now, but honestly, that would just make me feel worse. My parents expect a 92% average when my report card comes out, and they're not gonna get that. I can already see the scene unfolding in my head when I hand them that cursed piece of paper.
Not only do they expect it, but they made me promise I would get it, because it's not something unattainable for me. I could do that well if I worked my butt off, but I haven't been trying my best. And I know that. It's not one of those "I have no idea what I'm doing wrong" sort of deals, I know exactly what I'm doing wrong. I've poured too much energy into student council, music, my friends, and whatever the hell else I do outside of school. I've done the one thing that I've feared the most: I've spread myself out too thin, and I'm doing nothing whole-heartedly.
And my grades aren't the only things that are suffering, but the other million commitments as well. I feel like I've been letting a lot of people down.
I've basically screwed myself over since the beginning.

1 comment:

Lindsay Volkenant said...

I would like to encourage you. Let's talk.