Now that I don't have classes anymore, I get the privilege of taking my mother to the hospital for her chemo shots. It's a weird thing to say, because it goes without saying that I'd rather not be in a situation where anybody has to take her to the hospital. But it really does feel like a privilege.
Medication has become so advanced that the chemo my mom was initially on only took half an hour, but it didn't work. Instead, the doctor changed her medication to one that takes two hours (and is showing improvements too PTL!). Two hours of sitting. Two hours of waiting. Two hours of being face-to-face with my mom.
It's actually kind of interesting what goes on in the chemo room.
Obviously, it can be depressing. I don't like seeing my mom get nervous when the needle comes close. It makes me sad to know that for some people, a trip to the chemo room is the only thing they have enough energy to do. And it also really scares me to see that cancer can really take anyone. Living healthy and well reduces the chances, but sometimes, it just happens. And everyday, the people in that room seem to be getting younger and younger.
At the same time, it brings positivity. I see people greeting each other as friends fighting the same battle. I see business men put down their iPhones to talk to wrinkled faces. I've had a complete stranger show me pictures of his grandchildren. And there is always someone who is rooting for another to keep going and keep having hope. Chemo room conversations are a form of encouragement that I wish happened on a daily basis.
And not only that, I get to spend two hours of my mom being bored. And again, that's kind of a strange thing to be excited about, but being bored really does have value. Both my mom and I always bring a book, but we never touch them. We let our minds wander. We talk about the new and the old. We listen to the stories of others. We act as though we have absolutely nothing to do, when we both know that entertainment is right at our fingertips. And I love it, because there's beauty in watching the minutes go by.
Especially, especially, when I know that every damn minute counts more than ever now.
And that's why I feel like it's a privilege to sit in that room with her.