Friday, August 28, 2009


Alright, nobody likes being honest and writing about things they feel ashamed of so I'm keeping this short and vague-ish. I've had about 10 different epiphanies this past week. It's made me listen to Frank Sinatra (which I do when I'm sad), lay in my bed staring at the ceiling (which I do when I'm pensive), rip paper (which I do when I'm fustrated/stress) and rant at multiple people (which I do all the time anyways). Some of these epiphanies have made me wonder if I'm actually a horrible person. Some of them have made me go, "Ohhhh... That makes so much sense." Some of them have made me go into frantic doubting mode, just to keep myself from getting my hopes up. At the moment, I can't even differentiate which ones may be true or not. Anyways, I have come up with a few conclusions, one of the most important ones being this school year, I'm not gonna date. Not even if I meet another charming, witty, oh-my-dear-lord-he's-so-perfect-how-could-he-like-me-back? boy. No more "But I might regret it if I don't!"s. No more rushing. No more free-falling.
I'm saying this on my blog so that you, my readers (who read but do not comment) and my friends, will keep me accountable for that. Things always come up for me, and it's time for me to stop going all hopeless romantic or schoolgirl crush or whatever you want to call it. Looking back, my dating streak has been kinda... Yeah. I'd like to look back and not go, "Was that really worth all my time and effort?" once and a while you know? Not even with just dating. It's also those random "things" I have with guys that leave me going, "Wtfreck man..." I know exactly what I want in a relationship, and right now isn't the time for it. There's a bajillion other things I have to focus on... And wait for.
Momma was right. It's probably the last thing I need at this point in my life.
And thank you God, for putting your foot down. I get it. A no is a no.
Ha, so much for keeping it short.
PS - Gaily is cute. If you're reading this, I miss the way our friendship used to be.


jsizzle said...

First off, thanks for waking me up at 3 am for this.

jsizzle said...

But yes, I will keep you accountable. I'm going to say the rest elsewhere... but I'm proud of you ;)

Christopher. said...

You go girl. Boys are stupid anyway. Throw rocks at them.

Tiffany Ho said...

Finally!!.... LOL. Us cuzes can stick together till our Charmings come :)

PETER said...

what the. boys aren't always stupid Chris, you know that! Throw dirt, that way they'll get dirty but it won't hurt them as much as rocks? OKbye.

lee-Ann said...

haha boys are just trouble
hopefully i won't fall into my trap this school year. i'll slap you silly if you come up to me one friday and tell me your dating someone :)

synsia said...

YAY! i'm glad u reached this epiphany! :) proud of u my lil sis. ur getting slapped and yelled at and ignored if u get a bf...honestly <3

Anonymous said...

:) yo dawg.
so.... i'm anticipating that we'll be seeing a lot of each other come school. so even if you don't WANT me to keep you accountable to this post, i will anyways. Well, of course i won't force you or anything. but i WILL remind you!
and i'm happy you came to that conclusion.
imagine how excited your future husband would be at this epiphany of yours! :)
love you!

Anonymous said...

oh. and you have no idea how happy this made me. :) i almost peed my pants. well, not literally. but you get the picture. :P

HO said...

Wow... If you guys wanted me to quit dating so badly, you should've said so in the first place.
HAHA, kidding.
Thanks for the positivity.
... And irony.

Anonymous said...

“No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry”