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The worst kind of goodbyes are the ones when you don't know when's the next time you'll see each other. That's why I hecka cried at the end of OCAC, and why I was so anxious when R left. Wait, scratch that. The worst kind of goodbyes are the ones that may actually be "Goodbye" instead of "See you later."

Happiness Meme, Day 48
I came back home today REALLY tired, for the first time. It wasn't just the tiredness you feel from walking around all day, but the feeling of being stretched out. It's like a piece of saran wrap that hasn't been cut big enough for a bowl. We were really short on teachers at ICM today, because a bunch of people left early for a missions trip, and I had to take up a few extra kids. I'm used to my quiet Nibiska, who has a shy smile and LOVES to draw, but I also had to teach two other girls today. I've never been good with kids who are rowdier, and these girls definately had a lot of attitude, because they were older and actually knew how to talk back. It was so difficult to keep them on track, with their constant begging for me to let them play and remarks about how "teachers never keep their promises," and it was near impossible to keep all 3 girls in their seats at once. Along with my inability to help with Chinese homework, I thought I was doing a terrible job. But at the end of the night, they gave me butterfly crafts and pressed stickers into my palm. Nosheen and the other girl, who's name I can barely say, let alone spell, grabbed my hands, asked, "You're coming back tomorrow right?!" and blew me kisses when I left. I wanted to go home so badly before, but everytime I help out there, it gets harder for me to leave.