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The first few days have gone by so quickly, and although I went into the year with my immune system down and out (I'm already making good use of the box of Puffs in my locker... It really says a lot about a person's health when they need to keep a tissue box within reach at all times...), I'm actually a bit relieved. I honestly wasn't looking forward to this school year at all, partially because of the workload and partially because of the one question everyone asks, "What are you planning on doing in the future?" Everytime somebody mentions university and what I want to go into, it makes me cringe. I've always had an idea about what I want to do, but as of right now now, going into my final year, I'm completely lost. Everyone says that I have time to change my mind, but really, that's the problem - I keep on changing my mind.

But anyways, that's nothing new. Everyone goes through this crisis, and I'll deal with it somehow. The reason I've been relieved is because I'm starting to learn how to say no to things. I keep doubting the decisions I made back in June, but the thought of me spreading myself out too thin for yet another year always brings me back to my senses. I'm going to make it a point this year to not do anything half-heartedly, even if it means sacrificing the back-up plan for my black-up plan for my back-up plan. It's not something easy for me to do, but I feel like my confidence in this can be reinforced by someone a lot bigger than myself. After all, during camp, He reminded me about a thousand times how much He loves me. His persistence can get annoying sometimes, but I'm thankful for that.

Another thing is that I've forgotten all the love and support that I get from my friends at school. Well, not that I forgot, but I feel like I've been so distant* from them for 2 months, and seeing them again just made me giddy**. I feel like I can do this now, even if*** what I call my "chill year" turns into a whirlwind of busy-ness. I think in my worry and stress, they've given me an undertone of peace. Despite the messy start, I really don't want to think about the end of this.

*I think I meant that VERY literally

**Yes, giddy

***I actually mean "when"