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Excerpts from a journal:
It's strange being on the flip side of things; to not be completely surrounded by people I know, to be questioning names, to be organizing. Something that was so usual and ridiculously nostalgic is now somewhat new. A part of me wishes I could be a junior again - making dumb videos in the back of the bus, playing for a crowd, dancing in rooms and having opportunities to fall. Sometimes the gap is so huge that things slip through my fingers, but sometimes I see eye-to-eye. I love these kids, because they remind me of who we were or rather, who we still are. The good parts, the unfiltered parts and the parts that remain unknown. I have to admit, I was nervous at first. It was like the first-day-of-school feeling with the faint nervousness of rejection and on top of that, the slight fear that growing up means getting boring. But I've come to the realization that as long as I welcome with open arms, others, with well-intentioned hearts, will generally return the favor. My heart is slowly growing, along with my smile, and I know by the end of this, they will have a piece of me.

The ambiance of a bonfire - the smoky smell, the marshmallows in my hair, the 4-chord pop song sing-a-longs - paired with a setting sun gives life that feel-good excitement. I found myself sitting with arms wrapped around kids I barely knew before, wishing that moments could be infinite. Even in devo groups, when I stutter over my prayers and offer my words of wisdom (yes, all the wisdom an 18-year old me can muster), I feel a sense of closeness. I've found a deep desire to see these kids grow, and I wish for a bit more time, hoping that things will be stretched out. Us T.A.s, we come back to our rooms at night, and all we talk about is how much we love this group of young ones (amongst our guy-talk and references to how my heart is so easily given away). We talk about how they possess an enthusiasm that makes us want to join in, and we talk about the individuals that have surprised us or made our day. Tofino has always been my favourite on this trip, but I've come to realize that the place, with it's tall trees, kissing ocean, tickling grass and gorgeous coastlines, have barely anything to do with it at all.

I love both of these: the bonding when you're literally rolling on the floor laughing and the bonding when you start to dig deep. We did affirmations, and putting down into words how people have impacted me either makes me realize how deep my love for them is or leaves me wishing I could love deeper. Regardless, I've seen the gifts God's given to each of them, and it's so powerful. I see so much potential in their young lives, all the space they have to grow and how one day, they will go on to do great things. It makes me both proud and hopeful. These kids, the T.A.s I work with; they're all gold. Pure gold.

These darn kids have my heart.