Tuesday, April 10, 2012


I had one of those dreams last night where I was falling. Usually, I wake up with a spasm when I hit the ground, but this time, someone caught me.
Someone in particular caught me.
And I woke up angry.
Why does someone always have to catch me?
It's not right that I want him to come back and fix whatever the hell happened.
It's not right that the minute my heart broke, I ran back to old habits, expecting him to somehow mend my heart.
It's not right that when I drunk-cried (and trust me, you haven't hit an all-time low until you've drunk-cried), I curled up in someone's lap until I felt better.
It's not right that I let someone send me cute texts and call me beautiful just because it makes me feel good.
I'm not trying to give up a fight anymore. I'm waiting for someone to save me.
And that's not right, because I need to learn how to start saving myself.
And if I can't do it (and I'm pretty sure that anything that entails me doing something by myself is a sure-fire way to fail), the only one I'm going to let do it is Him.

No comments: