Saturday, May 26, 2012


I hate those dreams that seem so real, and I wake up with the heaviest feeling of disappointment.
And what made this dream was particularly real was that it wasn't perfect, and it had all the minor inflections and details that make smooth sailing in real life impossible. And obviously I wish there was some sort of alternate reality where it was okay for me to still be feeling like this and still be hoping for these things. But that 4th dimension or whatever doesn't exist (or even if it does, I can't get to it). And there's no place in this world for these things anymore apart from in dreams.
But this dream.. It was so plausible. It wasn't just the emotions that felt real, but the situation in entirety was just so completely possible. There were things left unsaid. There was anxiety and hurt and happiness all in one. The way things played out was actually a bit anticlimactic.
And that's not what dreams are supposed to be like! They're supposed to be absolutely ridiculous notions. They're always described as "weird" or "strange," and never "Wow that could actually happen." They may or may not reflect your heart's deepest desires, but nonetheless they're supposed to be unrealistic.
But this. Frick. It was too legit, and I hate that it says so much about what I'm really thinking.

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